We love Kevin Millwood

Last year the Snakepit, especially the ladies, developed a strong distaste of AJ Pierzynski. Actually, we do not like the White Sox at all, especially their cursing furbish speaking dictator of a manager..ole "what's his name." Remember when we beat the Sox their claim was it was an intricate system of lights in the offices to tip off our batters, or maybe Burhle just didn't bring his good stuff to the park that day. Anyway, if you all recall our very own Witchdoctor, Padilla not only hit AJ once, he hit him twice in the same game!! Greatness! We probably should mention the poor rookie dispatched to hit Blalock(who?)and when he did not the "Furbish One" berated him so badly he looked like he was crying and promptly sent him back to Triple A.

So last fall we put a "hit" on Pierzynsky. With that, we alerted the starting rotation and bullpen that when Pierzynsky came to bat..hit him. Now we are not brutal or evil women, so we requested a fast ball to the ribcage, no head hunting (we leave that for the very bad Roger Clemens).

Most of the pitchers were on board with this, except Gabbard and we all know what happened to him. He's gone "away" severely traumatized by flying objects. Batting helmets, birds, airplanes & ducks. He will never be the same thanks to the 6'8" #1 in the draft Sexon.

So the rotation has the word and night one we throw a bunch of rookies and they may not know about the hit. Okay we will prepare for night two. Millwood on the hill, Erin poised with camera for the at bat. Sure enough he hit him in the ankle. As the crowd gasped the ladies of the Snakepit felt the love from Millwood and as Erin snickered quietly,we high fived each other and I laughed out loud!

The ladies would also like to thank Salty who offered to knock him over at the plate (and after the HBP, he kinda looks like he wants to kick him..go ahead Salty, it's okay) Uuuhhh....Is That Murphy, offered to slide in cleats up and Metcalf who agreed to put the hurt on him.

So as it seems no one likes Pierzynsky and we made it obvious one hot July night. Thanks Millwood, we owe ya' a beer!

Your Momma Can't Spell

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim or as the Snake Pit non-affectionately calls them "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA".

Everyone knows the team...The chubby argumentative manager that likes to be tossed,
(with or without cause)..we don't care.

They are 1st place in the AL West, since the Red Flying Fish was a child.

They paid toooooo much money for a 239 average hitter GMJ..Chaaa-Ching!!!!

Anderson is getting old...Don't hit him..he may decompose right in front of you!

K-Rod...wow.. he may be good, but he CANNOT throw the Gyro!!!

Vlad...yes we still remember the line drive you hit of Kam's head...all is not forgiven. Walk him every time, or better yet....just hit him.

What you may not know is this team is made up of a bunch of men with very odd names.

Think about it for a minute:

Lackey.... who wants to be called a Lackey??? From the dictionary, "obedient follower" Well that's what I what to be known as...

Jon Garland... where did the "H" go? Was it overused the year he was born & there was a quota on them? "Oh Mrs Garland, I am sorry no John's this year, but you can go with Jon". Crazy!!

Jered Weaver, I am so sorry... I thought it was Jared..now there is another one to make fun of!

Vladimir... Wasn't he a Vampire somewhere in Transylvania??

Torii..excuse me, I am confused. I have heard of a Tori,(one i)..but she was a girl..

Maicer Izturis.. I got nothing...there is so much odd about that name I do not know where to start.

and finally... the favorite of the Ladies of the Snake Pit

Chone Figgins. Chone??? Pronounced Shawn even spelled Sean on occasion, but Chone?

This leads us to the conclusion "Angel's Momma's Can't Spell"

Vampires in the Bullpen

Erin and I have recently noticed a very odd phenomenon in the Ballpark. There appears to be vampires in the bullpen, perhaps even in the clubhouse. That has to explain the nasty bite marks on the necks of a couple pitchers.

We would like to investigate further and have a few questions. IF given the opportunity to talk to a few of the players here are the responses we anticipate getting....

The question is: Have you noticed the bruising from possible bite marks on two of your pitchers necks and how do you think they got there?

Answers: (hypothetical of course)

Gerald Laird: Bruising, there may be several bruises on Scotty tonight..No wait, let me look out of my good eye..oh yes..there is one..no idea how it got there. I have to go catch or play third, 0h wait, I am on the DL will just sit this out.

Marlon Bryd: Not gonna answer that unless you do the "bird" for me..

Parker Brothers: It's the work of the white devil. Let's all hate on him together

Salty: Yes I saw them, no idea what happened ( do you know my curls are natural??)..can Vikki come out & play???

Michael Young: I am sorry, I cannot comment. I am way too diplomatic!

Frankie Francisco: Si, I saw el mark on Scotty, pero no tengo an idea como it got there. Vampiros? No me gusto vampiros, you tengo una chair I can throw at the vampiro.

David Murphy: uhhh..okay. Maybe. Could be (was that Murphy???)

Josh Hamilton: I saw them, God love him bless his heart, he's on my prayer list. I don't believe in vampires. Perhaps there are some trashy women running around, I'll pray for them too.(Salty, leave Vikki alone..her curls are natural..like mine!!!)

Kam Loe: Dude, are you talking about me? It's along road trip yoyoing between OKC & Arlington, no vampires in my low rider!

Washington:LM?:sjwafdhsa freajfxwjceewkhrejcaefxaejjgcnfkjgk fdjng kdjfkfdjgk (we are not exactly sure what he said, but that's close)

C.J. Wilson: Is this a political discussion? Is it a trick question involving the upgrading of the Jumbotron? I best "shut up & pitch"

Blalock: I have not seen a thing, however I am oft injured and haven't seen the majors in awhile. I am scared to comment, my luck is bad enough.

Kinsler: I don't feel like talking or smiling. Vampires would never bother me, I am fractious.

So, we never really got a straight answer on the bite marks, but my bet is a hickey.

Come on boys aren't you just a little bit old for that? Don't make me bust out my "mommy" lecture on how tacky you really look!

A special thanks to Erin for pointing it out from her high def TV..I sat on my coffee table and squinted until I saw it.

One Kidney Does it all!

Three years ago Rangers Catcher, Gerald Laird, donated his kidney to Rangers Replay host, Mike O'Gulnik. And since then when Gerald comes to bat, we in the Snake pit have always said, "One kidney, does it all!" in unison.

Last Sunday, was Fan Photo Day. Bring your camera and go out on the field and take pictures of the Ranger players. My daughter, Aubrey and I hit the field with 1,000 or so, other fans. Later that night I unloaded my camera and looked at the pictures I had taken of Aubrey with players. (See posted photo, cropped for closer look.)

I looked closer at picture with Gerald and I couldn't believe what I saw! Not only is he minus a kidney....He's cross-eyed!!!

How did I go this long without noticing that? Better yet, how did it get passed Vikki?

Well, we had to change up our chant for Gerald. Now we'd say "One kidney, cross-eyed, does it all!"

Until, Yesterday, when Gerald played third base, with Vazquez at shortstop, because Michael Young was out with a strained ring-finger. - I heard he popped Ponson for getting in Kinsler's face about an error..........or he hurt it weight lifting.

Well, we had to yet again change up our chant for Laird. Now we say, "One kidney, cross-eyed, playing third, really does do it all!"

I can't wait till he starts pitching! This man is amazing. Lets not forget he's also Hispanic. I didn't know this till I saw his picture on the Hispanic Heritage Poster the Rangers handed out. Hmm

What a guy! Sorry ladies, I hear he's taken. He finally married the "Baby-Momma."

I would like to add that this blog is slightly embelished.

Erin

Hank Who?

A little back ground.....

Two years ago I was a little excited to get to a Rough Riders game to see Hank Blalock's little brother play ball. We went early to try and get autographs from the players before the game.
The lesser Blalock was signing so, Aubrey and I rushed over to get his autograph. He got right to Aubrey who was about 9 years old at the time and looked at her and said "That's it I got to go."

I understand having to go, a ball player needs to stretch before a game. (see above) We stayed where we were and after a few minutes he returned to sign some more. He got to Aubrey and again said "That's it"
I told Aubrey that I didn't think his britches were big enough to be big leaguing her like that. TWICE!

She didn't care... I did. Fast forward a few weeks and Hank is signing before a Rangers game. Aubrey and I wait for him to get down the short line of people to us. He signs for Aubrey and looks at me and says "That's it I got to go."
I was the only one left, there was no one after me. He big leagued me!!

That was it I had had it with the Blalock brothers. Hank was now DEAD to me. Every time Hank was announced before his at bat as well as merely mentioned, I always asked "Who?"
Hank began to struggle offensively. Vikki even resorted to bringing an IV line for him cause he was weak and thready. It didn't help much.

Hank seems to be on the DL quite consistently now days. hmmm And where is the lesser Blalock? How's he coming along in the minors?

Personally I don't think we need Hank anymore, we seem to be doing just fine without him. Third base is covered. Hank volunteers to play first and oops there goes the DL again.
I'm thinking he's a good DFA candidate.

Don't big league me, it doesn't set well.
Erin

Unlucky Number 13

Is it the number on his back? Is it that he bruised his knees curling up like a scared puppy while Sexon ran at him throwing his helmet? Or is it the fact he sees no humor in hitting Pierzynski with a fastball to the ribs?

Whatever the reason is, Gabbard is disappointing me. I do not like to be disappointed. Six walks in one game..wow.

I promised to show Gabbard love today during the game, but the game is over, as is the love.

Perhaps he would be better off in AAA practicing his curve ball & allowing Botts to practice hitting it.

I am certain a number of Bullpen boys would be happy to take his spot in the rotation and be more than pleased to throw one at AJ's ribs. Wouldn't you??

Got Kam?

We are thrilled Kameron Loe is back in the bullpen. He got to pitch in tonights game and came away with the win. Way to go Kam!

Craig's phone chirped all night Wednesday, after the news hit the press of Kam's return.

If Angel ,(Kam's Snake), had ears she could hear the good news herself. We told her anyway and gave her a nice fat rat to celebrate with. Although I think she would have preferred Craig's little Quaker, Salty. She's been eyeballing him for months now.

I can't wait to sit with Aubrey over the bullpen and yell for Kam when he comes out on their first game back here on the 30th.

Erin